Loving someone else is not enough. We have to love ourselves. That goes for our Hs too. They need to love themselves enough to want to get better. And we need to love ourselves enough to be able to create a life we love. (Al-anon is a good place to start).

It has taken me a long long time to get here. LOVE is nothing. There are a whole lot of practical, very unsexy things that make relationships work. And often, survivors and codependents are sadly lacking in those things (I know I certainly was). LOVE between two people is a product of that, not the creator of it.