44 years ago I was assaulted by a female babysitters boyfriend, and that apparently has been an issue that I have never truely dealt with, or was never capable of explaining to you, because I was a male.

20 years later while serving in the military that issue then came up and that I felt that I needed to resolve, and tried to get help, but because of my young age, getting promoted to E-7, was apparently a burden to other members of my unit, someone leaked my counseling session to those good for nothing perps, and they used that information against me. This is where my destruction as a person, husband, father and soldier had begun.

Jealousy, racism, age discrimination, is something that neither you or the military are willing to acknowledge and accept, during this time frame that we were together.

Because everyone knows that once your are called a, "CockSu897er" your forever going to be labled as such, and as you should well know in the sexual abuse community, there is no way to live it down, or to disprove it, because the anger in today's society as it was back then some 22+ years ago, can never be disproved or overcome, NO MATTER HOW CREDIBLE the evidence may be.

In a couple weeks after I get settled down, the VA has agreed that I will receive counseling in this matter. But please understand this, an investigation into my situation and Gang-Rape will probably come to fluition. This is something that I have never wanted to come to. You know that I have always been and always have wanted to protect my family from harm. I have always believed that even to today, but in order for me to move forward in MY OWN HEALING, I must let this come to pass no matter how difficult it is for me to handle.

I'm so very sick and tired of keeping this all bottled up inside of me. I'm sick of not seeing our children grow up, and to have not seen and missed everything that WE should have experienced together, but then again you chose to believe the words of those military bastards, not me. I now choose at this very moment to not be responsible for their actions anymore. I choose to cast off this black darkness of hatred and ridicule.

I NOW PUBLICLY and whole-heartedly profess:

The anger in me towards those who accused me falsely and to those who Gang-Raped me twice to coerse a confession out of me to protect your lame asses from dealing with a soldiers death that was under my protection while I was his Platoon Sergeant, and that you chose to use me as your scapegoat.

I now publicly, "FORGIVE YOU."

Today is MY DAY at starting my recovery.
I could not have done this if I did not forgive you.

I have always been and have always tried to be a
good christian. I have never really known what that
meant until today.

My road to recovery starts now.

I can no longer be held responsible for what you think, or what you do, or what you did to me.
That is a monster that you now have to live with, and if that bothers you, that is your problem.

The statement below is for my perps only...
Pardon the pun, but if this does bother you, tough,
SCREW YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sick and tired of being Sick and tired.