I am actually the girlfriend of someone that was sexually abused by the females in his family from he was 9yrs old to about 12.He lost his virginity to one of those females.I just recently found this out.He is an extremely loving person,very affectionate and aware of my emotional needs.He's not very sexual tho,it comes in spurts.Sometimes I wait a whole 2weeks before we have sex only because I try to give him space because I want him to know I care and understand what he may feel toward women sexually in his adult life.But I am a woman at my sexual peak and have needs and don't want to pressure him.I try to use different methods like sex toys.I have tried to please him with fellatio but he won't let me do it and simply says that it does nothing for him.AND he just revealed to me that he is not sensitive at all down there.So I am very distraught because here I was thinking he was enjoying sex and feeling everything when he was not!He does say that he enjoys it because there's the strong emotional attachment he has with me and he loves me but he just is not sensitive there.Do you think his abuse has de-sensitized him?I am so mad at those women for doing that to him and that part of his adult life is taken away from him.Feels like the relationship will never be complete if that problem is not fixed.I want him to want me like I want him and feel what I feel sexually.Are there any ladies with this same problem?And to the males,do you feel similar toward women sexually?like just plain not interested in sex?
I fully sympathize with what he may be going through. I can't speak for him but from my experience I had to learn and reshape my view on sex. I could not feel anything with my gf, sex was always in the third person for me. Learning to accept love helped me lean into things like fellatio and improve on sensation. It took a few years for me to fully experience sex without "leaving myself". It takes time and with your support what ever is blocking him will be over come.
And don't feel bad about putting pressure on him, guys like to provide and feel like they are providing, even if you have to demand it. He loves you, so he will enjoy giving you pleasure.
Hope this helps.