My heart goes out to you Rachel.
Do you ever write him a letter? I've done that with my H. I tell him how I love him- how our marriage is being impacted, etc. I try to phrase things without blame- so he will hear it. I tell him how I feel and what I need.
My H and I don't do a lot of social things. When we have gone out in the past his insecurities are a barrier. He is very clingy and is rude to others. He doesn't realize he is doing it until afterwards. Right now I choose to not do social things with other couples because I don't end up having fun. I will do things with other girlfriends so I can at least have "me" time.
I know this sounds harsh but at times I have to view CSA as an illness like one would view having a spouse with Cancer. We can't do the same things as "other couples" right now. The "illness" makes things like connecting, communicating, social activities, going to public places, etc more difficult. We can do all of those things but it takes a lot of work from the both of us to get through it.