I completely understand Cass, my partner is like that too. Yeah he enjoys sex for the emotional side and, sometimes needs the physical release too - his libido is on a permanent roller coaster that's more often down, as in no existent, than up as afar as actually wanting the physical goes.

Not a big deal, he does it when I need it and, we both know it's very possible to make love - share that intimacy and emotional connection without actually having sex.

You'd have to talk with your partner to figure out how much of it is physical lack of sensation and, how much is him needing to mentally disconnect from those sensation. With my partner it's mostly mental, because of the memories associated with those sensation, it's either disconnect and don't feel them, or end up in tears because of the memories - men being men, disconnecting is safer.

Personally, I'm fine but, that's after a lot of work on not doing exactly what my partner still needs to do. It's hard to get past and, not something you can do a lot on with a therapist, the problem only happens when you are having sex so, you really need a partner that understands and can work with you.