Courageous is a fantastic online name! I recommend you learn how to listen and be very patient, but know that you are not helping him if you do not create boundaries for any acting out behaviour he may exhibit. It is important for all of us to learn about boundaries, but even more so for those of us living with someone who has experience CSA. I suggest you find yourself a therapist with experience in the trauma of CSA. It will help you immensely to understand and cope.
Cassialla, I suggest the same to you. May I kindly recommend you start a thread of your own for your questions so that Courageous can have her questions and needs addressed here. In short, it is hard to know for sure if the lack of sensitivity is physical or psychological, but I can tell you that lack of intimacy is very, very common with men who have survived CSA, whether the perp was female or male. I would encourage your man to seek a therapist if he hasn't yet already for his CSA. They should be able to help determine this and if not, recommend an appropriate sex therapist.
I am not your rolling wheels, I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride, I am the sky