They all should be doing that not worrying about basketball courts, million dollar acoustic tile, etc., etc., etc. Pitiful.

Ding Ding Ding! You've got the correct answer!

I agree 500%!!!

We have a man who comes to our church on occasion, his name is Woody Wolfe. Years ago he walked away from a comfy job, and now lives off the kindness of others as a missionary offering comfort to terminally ill children. He literally drives all over to visit hospital and sings (plays the guitar) and offers comfort as he can, and his work and ministry is totally amazing.

Anyway, all that to say, he told us once (and we'll get to the REALLY funny part in a moment) while visiting our church (we support his ministry) a story about visiting another church, where the BIG issue there was that they had one projector and one screen that covered their cross on the wall when it was done, and the people in the church thought that was just horrible, so they were raising money to buy a 2nd projector and another screen so they could have 1 on each side of the church and not cover the cross...... he was actually asked by the pastor if HE wanted to donate........ they needed 9600 bucks.....

So he goes on then to tell us about visiting Russia and helping out at orphanages and youth homes that were setup to get kids off the streets. He shared how many of the children in these homes, if they didn't have the home would be out on the street and most of them would be bought and used for sex just so the kid could get enough food to stay alive.......

So then he went back to the point of the original story, and told us that many of the youth centers were in danger of shutting down... which would put all those kids back out on the street.... He told us, and told us that he told the pastor of this church who wanted him to donate to their projector fund... that 9600 bucks would be enough to keep one center open and fully funded for 3 years!!!!! So while this church was raising money because they just couldn't have their cross covered.... centers were closing and children were back in harms way to be used and violated and many die due to the various STD's etc they invariably get.

Oh, I mentioned the funny part.... Woody had no way of knowing as he spoke that story, that in our church at that very moment, there was a HUGE stink going on because OUR ONE projector and screen covered the cross on the wall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So what happened...... well we now have 2 projectors and 2 screens......

Ok, guess that's not funny.

I find that the "church" in america is purely by name only. We, by and large, resemble NOTHING of what you see in the "church" in the book of Acts.

I've encountered a few "apostle" types before.... My understanding (and it's Bible based right from the first years after Christ! Just read the writing of Paul himself) of being an "Apostle" is that they were someone who was 1. Chosen by God for the specific task of proclaiming the Gospel. 2. Had physically SEEN the risen Christ.

So while this "apostle" fellow may be about preaching the Gospel.... I have a hard time believing that Jesus physically appeared before him.

In Paul's writing he defended himself as an "Apostle" many times because many insisted he couldn't be, but he makes clear that Jesus did indeed physically appear before him on the road to Damascus AND was given the specific task of taking the Gospel to the Gentile (non-hebrew) people.

Anyway, all this doesn't touch on that deep hole/God shaped hole deal.

I went back the read the posts in the thread to make sure I knew what had been said already.... I do believe, just be seeing a huge and drastic difference in the Phoenix I saw when you first came to MS, to the one I see now, I do believe that "God Shaped" hole has been filled.

I know from personal experience and the fact that I still feel like swill cheese, that there are OTHER holes in our lives. Holes from our wounds, neglect, abuse. Some I think we create ourselves as we try to strive and fill various holes in any way we can just because they hurt so much.

I know and I've learned that only God can fill all those other holes and bring healing. Although it's not always in the way we think it'll happen or on the timetable we want. I've been praying for many many years for a relationship of some sort where I could trust enough to be able to really open my heart and share anything and everything.....

The answer so far (and this was just recently figured out sadly) is all this time I've been struggling with it, God's been trying to get me to trust Him first and foremost. I need to trust Him to heal me, to bring whatever it is I need into my life when I need it, and to trust that He knows better than I do the proper order and proper time to put all those pieces back together.

Easy? No.... I want to scream and break things most days.... just like a little child who wants it his way right away. :-)

I thank God for His wonderful grace and patience. I'd have lost it long ago if it was one of my kids for sure.