@rachel, I'll agree with the chaps here. Triggers are a wonderfully variable thing. For me, there was no literal amnesia. I knew what had happened to me as a teenager, i knew where it was, but it was over and done wwith alright? right? wrong!

I found that the memories I was wandering around with, though exact in detail were utterly lacking feeling or depth or reality. I could give a verbal, honest description of everything that had happened to me at secondary school, in full scientific clarrity, but it meant! nothing.; This probably comes from the fact that the over riding feeling during my abuse was one of utter disconnectedness. I just plane froze, became utterly devorced from my body and what my body was doing, indeed I often felt as if my body was a car I was driving around that I'd stepped out of while bad things happened to it.

It took a major emotional crash thanks to falling in love and being rejected one time too many when i was 25 in 2007 to make me realize that no, everything wasn't over and done with. in retrospect however, there were a lot of signs leading up to this, fear of crowds, bad reactions to certain words, depression, low self esteme etc, so even though I generally hold the eleventh of november 2007 as the beginning of my recovery(yes, rememberance day! there is an irony), I don't think in truth it was, it was just the point when I was forced to recognize the full impact of my experiences and start dealing with them.

I can't speak for your H, but perhaps this could be the same for him, not a literal recovery of memory, just a change in the significance of those memories. Indeed, though I do know some people do! suffer very literal and obvious amnesia, for me, realizing that it was my own recognition and connection with my memories of what happened at secondary school that changed was helpfull, sinse it put control of my experience back into my own hands.

@Shorted diode, music my god yes! for me especially girl bands of the nineties, the spice girls, the beautifull south, the cause, which were both played in the mornings on the radio before I went to school, and also often sung by the girls involved (on one occasion the line from a beuatifull south song about underwear was the impetus for another act of s/xual humiliation).

Recently I specifically tried to listen to the beaitufll south song on utube "this could be rotterdam" just for the sake of exercising a demon, but actually couldn't get through it and stay present.

I think my genophobia is entirely due to triggers, most obviously the word s/x, and in fact my own physical reactions, not to mention various forms of touch (especially around the lower body or legs). I have a literal fear of being seen in any state of undress at all! especially in a public place, in fact even when I go swimming i have to wear a shirt and swimming shorts. I suppose being gang raped by teenaged girls as a teenager didn't really do my instincts much good, indeed I've often wished I was gay just for this reason.

Other stuff, the smell of cigarettes is a huge trigger to me, especially from a woman and when combined with the smell of perfume (perfume on it's own is fine, but not! when combined with cigarette smoke).

Teenaged girls generally don't trigger me, but girls speaking in the same accent as my old school do, as do girls in states of undress, though that last point is improving.

Gangs of teenagers of both genders together I find fairly disturbing, considdering my abuse was all very public.

Generally though it is the genophobia that causes most problems, sinse it can affect me even when watching a program let alone in general conversation or if someone is overt about it (especially a woman). I have also had friends who speculate that my genophobia (especially in it's relation to touch), is partly to blaime for the hole lack of me having any sort of relationship ever! which is rather bad because part of me does wonder if i had another association for love making whether it would help with the genophobia, but once again this is a catch 22.

However in coping with triggers the best method I've found is not to confront them but simply say "well that's how I am!" and not be ashamed of them. So what if I can't write the word s/x or take an inuendo, or be close to a woman smoking. I equally can't bare to hear someone singing off key, but that has nothing to do with abuse and everything to do with having a sense of pitch.

Some people suffer alogies, some people have sking conditions, I have genophobia and triggers, so what! it's just something else about me, something else I have to live with and no worse or better than what other people do.

There are lots more important things to be doing with my time than worrying about a few involuntary reactions.