It is normal for survivors and people in general to blame others. We can indeed blame our perp for our being abused as some of the issues we faced afterwards. If we ask God to prove something to us then we are gonna be waiting a long time. U don't have to forgive God. He never asked for ur forgiveness. Point blank answer. I mean he fact all of the questioning proves for a sense of more and someone wanting to be able to experience more. If you look for man to answer these questions then it may be a while. I pray tat all can feel Hod as I haw and experience His transformation. God bless and best wishes to all
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her