Dear West... it won't make a difference what career path you choose until you get a handle on the CSA. The VA has a program called cognitive therapy. I went through it with a niave understanding that I'd be cured. Nearly through the 12 weeks when I discovered that there is "no" cure. But I have been given the tools to help me deal with my past. Second, where is your passion? If time, money, education, experience, family, health, etc....offered no barriers, what would you want to do? With regard to you past and it has topedoed your future. It doesn't have to be that way. You can be an agent to affect change in your life and not allow your past to dictate your future.
It's not easy, I sit nearly everyday and struggle, but I've got the tools to make it through the day and that's all I can ask, it make it through the day and plan for tomorrow. Sometimes, I can only forgive for today. A trigger may happen that makes me feel vulnerable and desire to regress. I have to say, triggers are gonna happen, if I have to, I'll forgive again and ask for forgiveness. IT's extremely hard, almost feels insurmountable, but persistence and consistence (or slow and steady) will win the race.
Forgiving does not always mean everything goes back to the way it was. There are still natural consequences for what was done.