1)UR a therapist, but you are far to close to the problem to be able to deal with it, in the way you would a client.
2) CSA takes a specialized therapist.
3) If a client came to u with those traits, what would u recommend? Inpatient. You know his behaviors are not one of a stable mind. Plus, being unemployed gives the mind a less structured day that leads to a lot of unhealthy thinking.
4) U need ur OWN therapist. U can not handle this on ur own. U are fooling urself. I am a CSA survivor & Lisenced Social Worker. I Know, I can Not counsel myself.
5) You are not responsible for how he feels. But he may be upset with u unknowingly, because "U are a therapist & should have all the answers".
As for the God issue. I was raised to pray to God for guidance thru tough times, amoung other things. I prayed & begged for God for help through my childhood hell. As a child, I felt God did not care about me & the church was a lier, because horrible things kept right on happening. I am not a child & have had years to work out my relationship with God. But if you were to try to tell me different, during the early part of my recovery, you would have really been looking for one heck of a bad fight.
We need to pick our battles carefully. Decide what front we need to hold, which to push forward on. We can Not win the war all at once. Ur H IS fighting a war. A war within his mind, yet the damage is all around your family. Everyone is affected.
You said u read something H wrote. Did you read it like a therapist would? Or as his wife? And, did u read it to urself, or out loud? Why do u think H wanted you to read it?
It makes a big difference, becuase as a survivor, I sometimes have wanted some one, close to me to actually feel the emotion generated from reading something I wrote, Out Loud, & with all that emotion generated, Expressed!
Maybe get a babysitter, take what H wrote, drive somewhere, and read it again...
Lastly, I wish to thank you for ur amazing courage, fotitude and committment to H & ur whole family.