I understand God uses people. However, no one came the last time to help me with my CSA and abuse issues (1996-7 till 2009). I just wonder what it takes. If God can't find anyone to help me, then my quest is pretty much hopeless with me finding it instead. It also really ticks me off that others had no problem using me to listen to them, getting me to help them then just dumping me by never being there for me. One had the audacity to claim it would hurt their recovery. Fuck me, right? LOL One of my shrinks was a Christian and just screwed me (did nothing and just judged me personally) over for money. She was a hypocrite. With "friends" like that I don't need enemies. It also tells me either God didn't try that hard or the people that could've helped me just didn't care--reinforcing my self-hate issues. This lack of help also has made me very disillusioned with the church, too. It's like, is all they do is build buildings, build sports complexes, beg for money (I paid ties till 2005/2006 when I just had too many debts and financial losses) and put on a show. It's like doing nothing outside of "worship" is the norm in the churches I attended. When I left all those churches, no one ever called to see why or anything. I went looking for help and got turned down (a big shot pastor as one example), too. It makes me wonder what the point of those even existing is if the turn down helping the hurting. Screwed up people like me I understand not doing much because we're screwed up and don't have the answers. The rest either forgot where they came from or just flat out don't give shit. Then, if you questioned their beliefs at all, they judged you. And, they wonder why way more are leaving vs. joining and their finances suck. I kinda chuckled at their calamities. Karma is a bitch, folks. You had no problem taking my money, but when it came time to help me, you basically told me to go fuck myself because you're not that important to us, but hey, can you make a donation? lol

Edited by phoenix321 (10/27/12 01:10 AM)
Edit Reason: correction

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"