I have a lot of anger towards God. My first time around (1992-2010), I never got the help I needed and asked. The 2nd time (two weekends ago-now) he's helped me with several things. He still needs to send along help. It does seem to me only certain people get all the blessings. I don't know if that's true anymore. Talk to him, lay all your shit on the line, and ask for help again.

How did you know God existed before? What 'sense' (as you said) told you he was there?

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"