I've thought this since a year or so after my brother was born. I'm 99% sure my mom (could care less what my sperm donor thought) favored my brother over me. In her eyes, he can do no wrong even today and she has no problems telling me how great he is. I got beat more, yelled at more and was less protected by her for sure. I know she chose my sperm donor over me, too. This has gnawed at me for years. She said she didn't and treated us equally, but the Bible says you shall know them by their fruits and that's what her fruit says time and time and time again. Yes, she claims to be a Christian. Even my sperm donor said she favored my brother over me.
I'm not asking her about it recently since she's also cut what little feelings I have to the bone over the last year. She refuses to talk to me about any of my problems, but if my brother gets a hang nail she'd break her neck driving to his house. LOL It's a fucking joke its so obvious.
I have a lot of anger at her for subjecting me to my sperm donor's abuse (and not taking my kindergarten teacher serious when she told my parents I was a fucked up kid at 5). Now, finally admitting this to myself has added fuel to the fire. She was abused by my sperm donor, too, but this has cause a real enmity between me and her. I don't hate her, but how can someone be so cruel to her child?
A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"