If I'm completely honest, I still struggle with forgiveness. Somedays I feel no anger toward those that hurt me, and then some days it's so intense I could burn the whole damn world. (Yes, today is not a good day.)
I personally do believe that forgiveness is a needed thing, but unlike so many others I've come across, I will never force someone to that place. I tell anyone plainly, when the times comes and you can, then that is the time, and no time before that will do. I think for many, including us survivors, there is a lot of needed work before we can reach that place.
God has brought me a lot healing just by reading and knowing His promises. I certainly don't always "feel" His presence right there with me, and in those times I have to trust that He is indeed true to His Word to never leave or forsake me, but damn it, there are times I do feel so utterly alone.
I hear you. One thing that really pisses me off about God is when I was suicidal and ended up in the hospital, he could've hugged me or something. I'm sure some religious fanatic will say something like, "well, you were sinning so he couldn't". Back then, I'd let that go. Today, some asshole saying that to me will get a "fuck you!" LOL! JustScott, except with my other personality, I always feel alone. She's always there for me. I can't say that about anyone else, God included. God probably was and probably can prove he was but if I didn't feel it, it doesn't matter, you know? Hugs for you.