i am a male survivor - have recently made some progress - but with it comes intense fear of failure.

i wrote the following poem to describe the insecurity i am feeling. after i posted it, another survivor said it should be required reading for supporters & partners. several others also said it spoke for them.

i haven't even had the nerve to show it to my wife yet. somehow it seems safer here. i don't want it to come off as being self-justification or self-pity. and i don't want to trigger any bad feelings for her.

so - what do you think? i am open to criticism - i hope...


Donít look at me too closely
or watch what I am doing.
I might slip;
I might stumble;
I might fall.

Donít hold high expectations
or think Iíve got it made;
I am weak,
Iím still fragile,
Iím not whole.

Donít cherish preconceptions
of how I ought to act:
what I should think,
how I should feel,
what I should say.

Donít assume that now itís over,
that I am back to normal;
though I am better Ė
Iím not ALL better,
not yet well.

But if you want to walk with me
and pace your healthy stride
against my stumbling steps,
supporting one another,
to lend each other strength...

we can travel

14 10 12
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, ‚ÄúViolence!‚ÄĚ but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3