RunningOnEmpty, I, too, am having issues with my H. He has been working his steps in AA and doing well there, but......
This time its really me and I have a trust issue. He has not shared any of the details and I have this overwhelming desire to know. Desire is probably not the right word, more like obsession. He comes on here all of the time, but never posts anything, he mostly reads other people's posts, profiles and goes to the chat room.
It drives me crazy that he can share this with people on here but not with me. In addition, he has had sexual identity issues so I always wonder if this is healing or something else. I trust him in my heart of hearts, but my mind works overtime and in all the wrong directions.
There are times I'm glad that he doesn't give me details because I'm afraid of what I would do to those that hurt him. There is a part of me that wants to lash out at his mother (his father is deceased), she knew his older brother did some of it, but then there were others in scouts that hurt him too. She was too busy earning her degree, building her career and just being her usual selfish self to get help for her son.
I'm just very mixed up. I'm doing Al Anon and that seems to be helping, except when we are at home and he's on the computer.