i think we all ask that question - Is it worth it? - and the answer varies from day to day and hour to hour - as we are in the midst of things. sounds like you've got some better perspective now. hoping eventually to hear a more positive answer that "perhaps"!

keep writing, man!
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"