I would like to chime in on this one. I have been asking myself some of these questions. I guess I knew what I was going to find. I have been seeking sexual gratification as a way to replace actual intimacy.
I have been working to re-wire brain, and lately a different set of thoughts have begun to emerge. I find myself saying "it would be nice to have someone to hold, or someone to spend time with". These thoughts are new to me. I have never really considered relationships this way. It's mostly been about the physical aspects, but now my focus has shifted to something more whole.
The attraction serves as a lead in to get to know someone more fully. Before, it was he/she is attractive I really want to get off now. That is changing...slowly. But I am weary about getting into a relationship to alleviate loneliness. I feel it necessary to be able to keep my own company during times of loneliness. I want to be able to tolerate myself before asking someone else to tolerate me. Just my thoughts.
Heal well brother.
I am the warrior.