People sometimes say that I'm strong, or that they admire me for not only having survived abuse, but also overcoming pretty hard-core drug addiction.
But I don't think they really get it.
I don't see having survived as an achievement - What else was I supposed to do? And as for the drugs - if I was so strong, why did I get addicted in the first place?
So instead of making me feel good, they make me feel like somehow I have to live up to the image they have of me, and I'm not sure if I can. The pressure is too much. Sometimes I just want to break down. Sometimes I just want to hide somewhere, but I feel like doing so would disappoint and possibly even disgust the people in my life.
I guess I kinda feel like a fraud, and the more people tell me that I should give myself more credit, the more I feel like a fraud.
Can anyone relate?
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def LeppardMy Story
, Part 2My blog