male survivor here -
for me - my wife had to say - "This is not working. You need to get professional help. Or there will be consequences."
i was so deep in denial that i didn't even recognize how screwed up i was. it was a relief to me to have a push in the right direction. once it was "out there" i knew i had to do something to save our marriage and regain my life.
i can't say that course of action will work for everyone - but it was the beginning of big steps in recovery for me and mending a broken relationship for us.
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....