I wish I knew more about the indicators but I think each survivor is different. I hope that you get some helpful posts about that.
What I can relate to is the anger. I was so surprised when my H started therapy that I found so much anger welling up in me. I thought that once he started to take step to recover I would relax and feel better but the opposite has happened. I have waves of anger, hurt, and rage. Sometimes I don't even want to see my H because I feel like I can't trust anything he tells me. I feel so betrayed. I'm trying to work through this anger in therapy but it is taking time and it hurts very badly.
My favorite quote about anger is this-
"Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" or something like that.
I think this is so true. I've watched as my anger has thrown me into a deep depression, sucks my energy, and keeps me from my own happiness. I would suggest therapy for working through your anger and trust issues. I know that it is helping me. And I know that my anger while it is justified needs to be channeled into something productive. Anger is a force and when I hold it back it burns me up inside. I try to channel it into exercise, writing, art, etc. And somedays I just sit with it and let myself cry. I cry long and hard and don't care that I have snot and make-up running down my face.
I think that no matter what your H is doing and how much he recovers you won't be able to fully see it or appreciate it until you address your own feelings. I feel that once you have begun to release your anger and hurt then you will see things more clearly and be able to better judge what is really going on with him.
Everything comes from within