Hi Bob,

I'm trying to put barriers in the way. And really it is only an issue when I have been drinking. So I am working on that issue as well. Mostly nothing happens, other then sending texts out. But some lines have been crossed. Basically it is a behavior I don't want to engage in, yet find myself doing it "again". Another thing I am trying to do is get my life together, create some sort of meaning if you will. I think a big part of my problem was that for so many years I did not really make anything out of life, just skated along trying to get by day to day. But for me, as things started to get better, when I realized I was capable of much more, there was also the realization that I sort of wasted a lot of time just getting by. So yeah, trying to step things up a bit and maybe catch up a little if you will, but also have some bad habits that need to be addressed along the way. This stuff can be hard as you get older because it steered your life for so many years. Hard to let go of what was lost, but I also clearly see numbing oneself from this pain creates potential for more loss down the line - it doesn't really help one dig oneself out of the hole they are in, it really only digs things deeper. So trying to change those things. Some stuff is better, but still room to improve. I had some ideas though, things I can focus on. I have not given up on that.