I just have to add something. I am SO IMPRESSED that you owned all this stuff straight-up. That's damn brave of you. You're a good person, and your courage will serve you and your wife, if/when you get married, and your children if/when you have them. I know some survivors of CSA who felt worried that they couldn't or shouldn't have children or be in a committed relationship, because of what they might do/who they might become/or what truth might come out.

I think for myself I thought that nothing would be more painful than accepting the truth, not of what happened to me, but about the stuff I did. The shameful, disgusting blah blah blah shit I did. But the truth is that, while it was hard to be honest, it was MUCH harder to keep it hidden and to live with the weight of guilt and shame. That burden is one you can do without, brother.

Take care. You're on the right path. And as I said before, I admire the hell out of your courage. Keep it up!