I've posted here a few times maybe a month or so ago. Sometimes I just read posts and feel encouraged about what everyone says and knowing that I am not alone in how I feel. Sometimes I feel bad liking that I am not alone. I hate that others out there feel like me
I am the wife of a survivor. Sometimes it's hard bearing so much emotional weight. Having to be strong for your family all the time and standing by someone who keeps hurting you. It can be exhausting. And so I come here and feel better, if but for a brief part of my day.
Sometimes I try to tell my husband how I am affected by him and hurt (lack of intimacy, feeling like I can't talk to anyone, feeling like I am missing out on a "normal" marriage, worrying that my son won't have the father he needs).
I want to be able to talk to him about how I am hurt. Is this something I shouldn't do until he is further along in the healing process? When I try to talk to him about my feelings, he says things like "you don't know what hurt is." Not having been abused, he's right. My emotional issues seem to not be able to compare. But I know that I am human and I have my own hurts. But I want him to hear and understand how things affect me. My thought for wanting that is maybe if he knows how things are negatively affecting my wellbeing, maybe it will cause him to start to want to change. He just doesn't seem like he can handle his crap as well as my own right now. Maybe this is just the part where I need to be strong and just deal right now.