Your story sounds a lot like mine. You're not alone.
Like Gary said, keep posting. Until you get yourself into therapy, posting here is a great step in the right direction.
Are you a student or grad student in Prov, by any chance? If so, there might be some good resources for you to get started on seeing a therapist.
Send me a private message if you want to talk more.
I'll be just fine and dandy
Lord, it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But I won't let sorrow get me way down.