Scott -

with one exception (step-father physically and sexually as well as verbally and emotionally abused me) i could have written your post that began this thread. and i think that rejection and neglect can be every bit as devastating to a boy as overt abuse. i find it impossible to separate them in my thoughts and feelings. so i do indentify with you very closely.

i can't say that i have the answer. it is starting to get better for me. i've already shared some of the bigger steps. i don't think that those experiences and what i've gained from them are necessarily transferrable. but if they can give you some encouragement that there is hope - i am glad for that. i don't know what made the difference... this T, this pastor, my mental/emotional state right now, the alighnment of the planets (LOL) - other experiences? it is all a mystery to me.

Dude - i'm over 60 now and i've been nursing this "raw wound" as you so aptly put it - for 55 years, looking for a cure. i don't know if it will ever be totally healed. (you probly remember what a mess i was when i first came here - and you helped me along.) but i am seeing some new growth recently in areas of my life that i had pretty much given up on. and i'll take what i can get. hoping and praying for some relief for you, too, Scott.

"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"