with one exception (step-father physically and sexually as well as verbally and emotionally abused me) i could have written your post that began this thread. and i think that rejection and neglect can be every bit as devastating to a boy as overt abuse. i find it impossible to separate them in my thoughts and feelings. so i do indentify with you very closely.
i can't say that i have the answer. it is starting to get better for me. i've already shared some of the bigger steps. i don't think that those experiences and what i've gained from them are necessarily transferrable. but if they can give you some encouragement that there is hope - i am glad for that. i don't know what made the difference... this T, this pastor, my mental/emotional state right now, the alighnment of the planets (LOL) - other experiences? it is all a mystery to me.
Dude - i'm over 60 now and i've been nursing this "raw wound" as you so aptly put it - for 55 years, looking for a cure. i don't know if it will ever be totally healed. (you probly remember what a mess i was when i first came here - and you helped me along.) but i am seeing some new growth recently in areas of my life that i had pretty much given up on. and i'll take what i can get. hoping and praying for some relief for you, too, Scott.
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....