Hey brothers Lee, Lee and Gary smile
Lee (Farmboy) I think that you are doing greatly for your recovery, you are some heavy fighter, I can tell that already, you have my hat off for your courage and honesty smile
I can just share parts of my experience even we all are not the same.
Must say that my obsession with CSA and its effect last almost 10 months now. I'm not sure when I've changed my inner attitude but I guess the moment when I become aware why some things are happening to me and what they represent (recalling traumatic events and living by seeing only my negative self image) somehow that started pushing things in me more toward healing.
I must say that finding some balance between my healing (reading about survivors, finding articles, posts, books, starting therapy...) and doing my job and maintaining my regular social relationships was extremely hard. I caught myself to deal with my issues in the phase of my life when I have had almost every day some hobby, sport or similar activity. It was like I've preoccupied all my free time with some outgoing activities and suddenly I didn't have any spare time for myself.
I still occasionally have to remember myself what are my priorities and I admit that I can easily lost my self.
I've learned that my boundaries are very fluid comparing to some "normal" people, I can easily forget on my needs just to make people happy around me. So I'm still learning to say no. Anyway this last 2-3 months I removed my self from many hobbies and activities that I was regularly doing last year and concentrated myself more to my "inner" needs. No matter how much time I'll need I know that I have to work hard to learn how to protect my self from wasting energy and to stay focused.
Please forget on words like:
"or maybe I just need to get on with life."
It is extremely important to deal with yourself with carrying sensitivity and love. Something similar like you would in case you have to deal whit some helpless child.
Please in every occasion try to give love to yourself try to be very patient and supportive to self. I've learned that is healing and that is something that I needed desperately.
Just keep up, I'm sure that you'll find own balance and pace.
Keep sharing with us!

Pero (Igor)
My story