yes - what Val said!
his motives are a key. repeating past = bad. making new path = good.
take it slow and stop if you sense it going wrong.
stay "in touch" with one another - both "present" and aware of each other.
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"