Thank you all very much for your comments!

I would like to hear examples of what you do to keep loved ones at arms length if anyone is willing to share. What feeling or moment triggers this?

Would all of this be considered fear of commitment/ "commitment phobe"? And does it just go on and on or does it come to a point where you get tired of it and want closeness or and only to distance and run away again? Does a person have to prove themselves to you or do the tactics of testing or pushing away become more intense?