One thing about this list is that it strikes me there is a big difference betwene some items and others, which can and which cannot be changed, but it's not really a difference that on an emotional level is easy to distinguish, particularly in the late hours of the night.

So, perhaps doing exactly what you are doingn now, venting your emotions here, as well as other ways of dealing with what you feel and leaving considderation of what you should actually do for later might help.

Just as one suggestion, your above "venting without sensor" still strikes me as a little restrained, and sinse there isn't! a sensor, perhaps you could vent a little more, sinse people here will understand the purpose of venting especially if you make it clear that's what your doing, ---- maybe try poetry if your so inclined.

I remember earlier this year someone really making me furious and hurt by his prejudiced actions. i very carefully composed him an E-mail, which was polite but still pointed in it's comments and explained just how his actions had affected me, but that wasn't the least bit satisfying. What I wanted to do was tell him exactly! what I thought of him, which would've started with the words "you bloody Prejudiced scumbag!" and gone down hill from there.

i'm actually sorry I didn't write that other mail, even if I never sent it sinse I think it would've helped my feelings if nothing else.

I've read what you said above and really hope things get better for you.