I'm Neil, 28 years old, and from Texas.

I've finally decided that I'm tired of keeping all of my feelings regarding my abuse a secret and bottled up. Over the past 7-8 years, I've tried to open up many times, but the fear of people's reactions and judgement have kept me silent.

I was abused by my father, but the frusterating part is that I don't have a linear timeline of events. I've read other people's stories regarding their abuse and they can recall the date, time, what they were wearing, etc.

Unfortuntely, that's not the same for me.

I don't remember exactly when the abuse started or when it ended. I do remember certain memories. My father on top of me, the feeling of his stubble on my face and body, and his intimidating stare the morning after.

I feel as though if I know the whole story, I could deal with it, but it's the feeling that I can't remember large chunks of my childhood that has me reeling. I just want to know all that happened.

I guess I came here trying to find anyone else who has the same issue...