Thanks so much Blessedcurse (what an insightful name).
I don't get much alone time to read/post but I want to thank you for your response to my post.
Some Quick Comments:
+ In my therapy I have been accepting that the bi feelings are my own feelings.
+ in my DID system Jesse is about 22y and not a child.
+ in my DID system there are twin child parts about 6-7y. One of whom feels the sexual actions were 'Icky' and the other twin part who considered the sex as exciting and a means to an end .. approval and bondedness w/ the priest.
+ somewhere in there is a component of shame for 'wanting the sexual contact'
+ somewhere in there is a component of terror for when the sexual contact became 'non-cuddly' and was forceful and I was threatened to keep quiet.
Again my appreciation for sharing about your story of DID. It feels wierd and bugs me that the research says mostly females respond w/ DID. And males who have it are under-studied and under appreciated.