I don't know what stirs in the heart of any man. No one does. Even when people are telling you the truth, we can never know if we are hearing and seeing an edited rendition. I have learned in some flippin horrid (and I mean damn horrid) scenarios that no man and no woman can be trusted fully.

The skills that saw a lot of us through to survival were not wrong, ill-conceived or wrongly-employed. In fact, the survival skill were perfection. Perfection, exactly as a rifle, knife, nuke or famine is perfection in winning a war. Perfection is confirmed through achieving the goal.

But if, along the way, we lose our humanity...our empathy and regard for our fellow boy, man, woman, girl, we lost the war. We had never won it to begin with. We missed the goal, entirely. "Survival" means to have emerged without being dead or being destructive to the innocent.

So....I will not call an offender a "survivor." I call them "offender."

I don't know what drives them. I don't know if its an appetite for this or that, and I won't make myself upset thinking about what made me attractive to horny teens. I DO know what made me viable and vulnerable...but I have no interest in what drives the offender's actions. I've never had to "resist" or control a sexual drive, as I have no sex-drive in adulthood. I'm fully stuck in neutral.

I did go after sex with the offenders in very direct ways however. I know it came from comfort, wanted-acceptance and other twisted things. And I do know that they molded me for all returns to them.

The current belief among professionals is that one in six men is activly molesting. That is an unbelievable number of people! All creating untold misery for yet another generation of children. How can we stop this tradgedy? When does sympathy for the abused boy turn to rage and hate for the abuser he becomes? Where is the moment for intervention in that boy's life?

I think we need to make and build a society that no longer affords nor accommodates, nor tolerates such behavior, but it will never stop. But I don't think humankind will ever be willing to do what's genuinely required. Its an evil we can only fight and vanquish in small theaters of combat. We'll never filter-out the evil in man's hearts.

The testimonies of NAMBLA and individual offenders pretty well proves to me that some humans feel a righteous entitlement to "it." And i feel a righteous entitlement to respond.

I hope you find resources here to be valuable to your needs Brugmansia. You must beone very very strong woman to handle what you've been dealt. I admire you for that....greatly!