It has been going around in my head, the impulsive reaction to porn. As a sexual abuse recovery victor, I still struggle with the occasional urge to view porn, like quitting smoking and getting a whiff of a cigarette, or seeing someone take a drag, phew, that can be powerful.

In the abuse, we may have connected love with sometimes family, dominance, oppression and security in extreme, improper, criminally sexual activity. An incredibly insightful survivor posted that it is because we seek, we long for, we suffer to be accepted in love. Love from our parents, siblings, friends, important people and from ourselves, especially ourselves. It is important to me not only to no longer view pornography, but to establish a connection to the love and care that I was supposed to understand and internalize when instead I was taught this destructive trait.

So how do I personify this search in my life? By connecting with the images and actions of those who are able to openly exhibit this trait, that of love and acceptance. Nothing sexual. Just a sense of joy in the connecting, familiar, fraternal, yet more, a desire to be touched, to be embraced, to be held.
********************************************************* Go GET a Hug *********************************************************
Interesting that phrase, isn't it? We think we are giving a hug, supporting, giving away some of ourselves but the reality is, we are on the receiving end as well. Go GET a Hug.

It is a start. I would challenge anyone here, first of all myself, that when I am online and a pop up flashes across my screen for porn, dating sites, whatever trigger that would previously send me searching for that betrayal, to shut the cover of the laptop or turn off the monitor, immediately get up and go get a hug. Go GET a Hug.

This is what I truly want. A hug, an embrace. I am wanted, I am cared for, someone who is kind to me, overlooks my faults and genuinely wants me to feel accepted.

Hugs>porn till there in no more POrn

Join me in a hug?

Sam (((Who's first?)))
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014