Welcome, Affairs are common. Pushing away, common. I think you are doing what you can. Ultimately he has to want healing. You can tell him about this website, suggest books, point out therapists and be a friend to him, but that is it. Sucks, I know. I hope he grabs the lifeline you are throwing out to him. Not even for you, although I want that for you if it's your desire, but for him.
Wife of a survivor