Well as a survivor I know that we are usually or were good at forgetting our own fault very quickly. Then really hammering home faults of others to make u seem superior and make us feel better.
Is he seeing a therapist regularly ?

We withdraw as a defense mechanism. We are good at that. It is mostly how we have survived as kids and adults. The acting like nothing is wrong is a survival instinct too.
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her