Thank you both Mark and Sam. I did tell her about my abuse, and that's why I am in therapy now. It came to an ultimatum. Either I get help or our marriage was over. Her therapist became the first person other than my wife that I told. The therapist led me to this site, and to the therapist I now see.
My wife has been posting on this forum as well, though I am not sure if it is appropriate for me to share her screen name publicly.
She has been unbelievably supportive, the opposite of what I thought would happen.
Oh, and I slept like a baby last night.