My CSA brothers,

Well, as peropic said, this is a very popular topic. I always enjoy adding my perspective to this while reading those of my brothers, too.

For me, I can't remember having any SSA before my abuse started and actually took several of my father's playboys and other skin mags to look at in our basement and with my friends, too.

I was abused by one of my female babysitters just before my homosexual csa started and loved the experience even though it was abuse. It seemed totally natural to do the things she asked me to do to her.

After my first homosexual CSA, I didn't feel right but of course, I was just violated and it was a horrible experience from the location to what he did to me (again, this is all spelled out in my story below)

Then, when my parent's drug dealing friend started abusing me, just like the first guy who abused me, he knew right where to touch me to get an arousal and it was also in my own home instead of a very dark room.

After hundreds of encounters, how could I not become conditioned to and desire homosexual relations?

So, for me and I see many others, our CSA did affect our sexuality. Just as I am sure that many of us CSA survivors were born gay and being abused by men or other boys may have only confirmed this sexual proclivity.

Even before but for sure since getting help for my abuse, I have returned to being mostly heterosexual and could never see myself in a gay relationship but don't care if others chose that for themselves.

I would caution against anyone KNOWING what causes or doesn't cause homosexuality since it appears that both nature and nurture play a role. Look at Ancient Greece and Rome for proof. Are you telling me that all of a sudden, homosexuality disappeared from Western Civilization after the fall of these two societies that actively practiced and in the case of the Greeks, highly encouraged homosexuality in certain circumstances?

One thing that I believe all of us can agree on is that it's not so much why we have ssa but that we acknowledge and more importantly, accept it as a natural part of our sexuality.

I'm at this point and it's been extremely liberating to both my heterosexual action with my wife and with any lingering guilt in my mind for having homosexual thoughts and flashbacks. Thankfully, for me the guilt's gone for all practical purposes.

Your additional thoughts.

Your brother,


My CSA story TRIGGERS!!!!

The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict. Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.