hi Gary and Geoff. wanted to share a little story you may find interesting... I dunno. You guys are always super nice to me so I feel like I can share on this thread even though, at present, I'm not actually gay or bi....let's just say I'm pre-pre-pre-surgery.
When I was growing up as a boy in a small town in the 80's my parents had gay friends over a lot. Or we would meet them out. At that time the whole town had a very large and proud gay population. Kids at school would use gay as an insult and of course that other word and yes I would too. But I've known many gay men as friends and co-workers, what have you, and I always identified with gay men. Like many of us I was a sensitive child. Not into sports and not into being macho. When high school rolled around I was a complete basket case due to my abuse issues. My self esteem was abysmal and though I had finally made some guy friends, I was terrified of girls. In my f-ed up distorted way I thought I could solve all these confusing issues if only I were to turn gay. So believe it or not, I actually wished that I'd become gay based on positive role models and my abuse-related confusions. Of course my issues were an entirely different ball of wax than sexual orientation. But I thought this might add fodder to your discussion. The age old chicken and egg queery, is it learned or are we born to be who we are at the start? What I wonder is can't that shift over time? Everything else seems to.
Finding humor in the heartbreak