Originally Posted By: Chase Eric
Originally Posted By: prisonerID
When a man who has been through CSA states that his abuse is worse than mine I cringe. When a man who has been through ASA says his abuse is worse than the man who has experienced CSA I also cringe.

In the last couple of years I have cringed quite often.

I honestly do not know why anyone would categorize pain like that.

I have felt slighted by comments made in the last few years and have seen men who went through ASA slight those who experienced CSA.

I do not think either are necessary or should be tolerated. What one wants from others one must be willing to give. And above all else I would certainly think respect and understanding would be at the top of the list.

Perhaps I am as naive as some have told me.


I could not have stated it better. I have read through this thread a few times and wasn't going to add anything to it, but in contrast to the sentiment expressed above, one particular post really stood out (italicization added)...

adult male rape is VIOLENT more often than not.
It is not being molested.
It was Rape. someones penis went in me without my consent.
thats not just getting felt up for a popsicle.

I am not going to comment further on this one - I think the statement stands on its own and exemplifies one of the reasons I don't always feel welcome on this side of town.

it's important to be respectful of the experiences of others, even if they are different or we don't understand. We can point out the differences.... like ASA is often very violent, and in contrast, CSA often has the appearance of being a trusting relationship between an adult and a child, when underneath it is anything but. One often involves luring and grooming, and the other often involves brute force. Both are traumas that affect male survivors and we should avoid using phrases like "worse than" or "just ____'ed" No one is ever "just" sexually abused.
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross