Hey Luke just take it easy; many of us survivors have more or less similar problems with sharing intimacy and getting close to partner and other people.
I'm also broken in this area, don't feel alone in all this. From one side I'm too demanding expecting from other person (that I like) to understand me completely and instantaneously and I offer similar stuff in return and believe me that is sometimes too much.
Maybe I wasn't clear enough I wanted to say that I'm never interested just and only on some physical level of attraction. If and when I'm in love I wanna die for that person (pure poetry) and at same time I'm not able to break wall of isolation that I built around me. One more thing, that love thing happens suddenly and unexpectedly and it is not possible to make some plans.
Anyway hang on and look how to proceed further with things that you like with pace that suites you the best.
My story