max -

you gotta find a better place to spend your time!

i know that is easier said than done.

are there some good memories that you can consciously choose to think about? Could you read a book with a really fascinating plot? if you watch movies, does that help? when you are talking with someone else, does that keep your mind off the subject? do you have a job or hobby or sport or some kind of activity that can keep your mind engaged in something more positive?

do you have a counselor or therapist who could help you? if not could you find someone who is qualified to help with your issues?

I hope others might have some good suggestions too...

Lee
_________________________
"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"