I remembered my mom worked as a teachers aid. In class, with me. If i wear speaking my voice would be shaking right now. My body is shaking a little. Maybe it wasnt the teacher, maybe it was her. How much more fucked up can this get? Cmon man, im close to ready, start laying it on me. What was so bad? I have PTSD for sure now, and im so hyper vigilent i alost feel like a speed freak going paranoid schizo. It is because i havent slept, but it is a little scary anyways.

PS you know how little pleasent reminders and after thoughts end up here? Not this time. My mom once said my oldest brother Jimmy, while he was staying with us, ODed on herion in front of me when i was 5. The ambulance came and saved him, but i dont remember that at all.

Its funny almost, i feel like i should yell "INCOMING!!!"