Wow, this post saddens me man. I really wasn't expecting someone to put this view forward but I appreciate the reality of that for you, and so many of us who feel they can't pursue that avenue of life.
For me the idea of not ever having or attempting a relationship would be far more painful than not, knowing how many years I have already spent alone and without this in my life.
I also feel that I can't stand being alone publicly if you know what I mean. I can't deal with the stress of making friends, taking up hobbies, building a life for others to continually question why I don't have that in my life, or if I don't like women, or if I'm gay etc.
I find it very easy to live alone and spend a lot of time on my own but I know how unhealthy that is for me.
If you don't mind me asking, is this something you have tried to work through in therapy?
How do you deal with people asking why your are alone, or how do you talk about sex and relationships when it gets brought up?
It really pains me that I can't talk openly with people about sex and stuff, it sucks. I have a lot of shame about feeling less than and inadaquate as a man. Guys always talk about sex etc, I don't even feel I can lie about that stuff.