Hi jdsrip:

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to help answer some questions:

(1) Were you old enough to legally consent to the sexual contact? In some jurisdictions you might be, or you might not be. It depends on the where, and when.

(2) Did you consent to the sexual contact? It sounds to me like you did not. And if you didn't, that would be considered sexual assault in most jurisdictions. (Wake up sex with a consenting partner does not count! grin)

(3) Would you have considered the other person to be a potential sexual partner? Again, sounds like a no to me.

Installing a two way mirror, and using it without the other persons consent is predatory behaviour. Wal-mart and others make you aware that you are under surveillance. This was not Wal-mart.

Showing you porn, at an age when you would not normally be able to acquire it yourself is considered to be grooming behaviour. He gets you all reved up by exposing you to the porn, and then uses your normal reactions and responses against you by saying your body said, implied, or showed consent. That's bullshit used by perps to make you think you wanted it and asked for it.

Your age difference, and your employment status on their own tell me you were being set in a trap. Ask yourself, do most 40 or 50 something year olds seek sexual partners with underage boys? No. Even if they are gay. And being gay does not run in families as far as I am concerned. Its just part of life, like being left handed is. And your employment status, given that you were the employee says there was a power imbalance. Maybe you were afraid you'd lose your job if you resisted too much?

As for your questioning about your sexuality, you don't say how old you are now, but I can assure you that middle aged men who have been sexually abused and assaulted as teens deal with the same question years after the fact. Its a package deal I'm afraid. The important thing now is for you to discover who you are, and who you want to be with sexually. Forget about the labels of gay and straight. Labels are for cans, as a good friend of mine says. Be yourself, however you choose to be yourself, with another equally consenting adult. Respect for self, and the other, are all that matters. Just play safely! wink

My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men