Hi panderbear and welcome.
It actually sounds as if you've done an amazing amount of healing and work on your own, ---- so first off congratulations, you should feel really proud of the progress you've made.
As to why people don't recognize, unfortunately it's the truth that we're living in a society that is sexist towards men. men, even as young boys cannot be victims, much less the victims of female abusers sinse culture and sterriotypes tell us that women are good, right and only ever the victims of male abuse, while men are stupid, dumb, strong and can never be vulnerable to abuse by others, ---- much less women. Furthermore, men must deal with this in silence and get over it, as contrast just look at how many websites and resources there are for female victims of abuse by men as opposed to the other way around.
Of course, this is not to deny that female abuse happens, just that the bias within society and the atitudes surrounding male abuse are really unequal.
I once had an ethics lecturer for instance who began her so called "none biased introduction" to s/xual ethics with the words "it is a scientifically proven fact that seventy percent of men would rape a woman if they could"
So, this is why it's so under publicized, many men don't even recognize what has happened to them.
Myself, while I'd experienced bullying and serious humiliation at secondary school, I'd never counted it as s/xual abuse, much less gang rape because the perpetrators of the abuse (at least the s/xual stuff), were teenaged girls, that group in our society which we are told are so innocent and in need of protection.
The fact that you yourself worked out what happened to you was! abuse, and have recovered from it shows a great deal of perception and strength on your part.
I really hope you find this community of as much help to you as it is continuing to be to me.