I having taken a major hit on the road to recovery. I've been so depressed lately that i am having trouble doing anything at all. I sleep way too much, i don't want to talk to anybody, and have headaches and muscle tension everywhere.

My fantasies are getting out of control. It's like i can't stop. I'm addicted to being humilated, forced to wear womens clothing and being raped and used like a woman. It's so fucking twisted, because the entire point is that i don't want to have them, which is why it is arousing. I don't want to think of myself tat way, and the stress of constantly fighting them is horrendous. Any response is welcome, but if anyone else has had some sort of compulsive sexual behavior, could you tell me something you do to help you with it?

Oh btw, i've been having trouble finding support in orange county, but i haven't been looking too hard either. (too depressed) If anybody has any resources they think might be helpfull i'd appreciate it.