What a wonderful summary of a mother's reactions. And thank you for reminding our sons to be gentle with us. Unfortunately, I fit right into:

Depression. Depression will occur if the pain, sadness, guilt, and other negative emotions are not addressed and managed. Depression is debilitating and will interfere in effective function as a mother.

Fear and anxiety. Fear is the normal response to threat. Anxiety is the normal response to the unknown. Mothers face a life-altering threat with no knowledge of the outcome.

I am SO TERRIFIED ABOUT MY SON'S FUTURE and so incapable of knowing what to do that my depression (a condition I've suffered from previously) is increasing. AND of course that prevents me from being "effective" in any way and no doubt adds to my son's trauma. I have got to get into therapy but I havent' even been to this site in a long time; just trying to put one foot in front of the other.

May I ask how old your son is? Can you give me any concrete advice on what you are doing to help him heal? A couple of people have suggested doing activities that he liked before the abuse started. that's hard when he is locked in his room all the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!