I appreciate all that you're doing for us.

Another thing I wish people understood was just how isolating it is. There aren't any friends I have really told, and I know men who have gone decades without telling anyone. Only my wife and a handful of close relatives know--for me anyway. I have a very close friend and he comes to visit me a few times a week but there's this wall up because I can't tell him what happened. My wife is a survivor of rape & CSA, and his wife was raped when we were in college, so the two of us have bonded over having wives with survivor issues. He has no clue what happened to me 2 years ago and even though I know he's read a lot of books about survivors and is very into supporting his wife, I can't be sure he'd be able to wrap his mind around this happening to a man.

I feel this huge disconnect between me and most of the people who I called friends.

In my life, there's the me from before the assault, and then there's me after. Those selves are mutually exclusive. I might have the same social security # or address, but that's it.
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross